Just Let It Be...

Hello Sunshines!

February 2022 has been an experimental and yet accomplished month. The positiveness outweighed the cruelness, speechless, and awe moments. We all know life has its ups and downs, even sideways. Is all part of the path of goals in life and one I am most proud of is waking up at 4 am every weekday to meditate, exercise, and just be. 

I always wondered why some humans enjoyed waking up very early. I had enjoyed staying awake late to appreciate the night, the moon, the quietness… it was a moment I felt I was alone while everyone was sleeping. The problem with this schedule was that I had to wake up early for work. Which made me tired therefore, I found another form to enjoy the night while everyone was sleeping. Or I assume they were.

I decided to switch it, I went to bed early to wake up extra early and just be.

I would let it be and exercise. 

I would let it be and enjoy the night view from the window.

I would let it be and turn only the dimmed lights.

I would let it be and sweat off the parts I do not want to keep.

I would let it be and read.

It was a time I can call my own and ponder what was going on in my life. 

It was a time I can meditate and pray regarding the questions I had due to the encounters I experienced. 

It was a time I can think clearly and make wise choices for myself.

It was a time to accept past ends and envision new beginnings. 

It was a time of clarity.

At this age, I am not amazed how time and people change, or maybe do not change. We all are accountable for our actions, and we all are smart humans to know what we want, need, and should do for ourselves. But sometimes we do not know, sometimes we lose sight of what is good for us. And that’s ok. This is how we learn.

We go through things and seasons of people, and we learn. 

There is no hate or bad omen sent to the wrongdoers that assisted to shape or form to make us stale, but there is a responsibility to oneself when it comes to love. Loving yourself to just let it be.

I am letting it be that today the date 03/03/2022 represents the three people that were seasoned. It is a hard pill to swallow when a relationship ends, and I mean any type of relationship. Is hard to accept that the blindness of the eyes from the heart finally has seen what it truly has been. From males to females, from months to years of knowing someone, things change. And that’s ok, too. 

I am letting it be that today marks the month of the beginning of the end for three relationships I had kept dear. All served their purpose, all expressed their true colors, all have used their time and now I just let it be.

Now, I continue my journey, encounter new meet-ups, start new projects, and just let it be. But even so, because I am human, I wonder if I had to keep one, would that number want to stay? 

But… I am going to just let it be and enjoy the night view from the window. 

-SweetBetty 💋

Sometimes You Have to Stay Busy, so You Don't Have Time to Feel.

Hello Sunshines! 

I cannot imagine what I would do after one of my goals is completed. It is the second thing I have on my mandatory to-do list right now. An action that is there and I always look forward to doing, also another excuse to randomly get up from where I am and go recharge myself. After it is thoroughly completed, there will be a moment I know I will find myself in the middle of a road, looking both ways and not knowing where to go next. 

I took a left turn somewhere around 2016 and encountered some great people. One especially whom I will always cherish and be grateful for, due to their sincere hand at some things I could not see, they somehow made me get out of one of my biggest comfort zones. Having the doors open to different paths has enlightened the route that I would want to take, but it also has made me think how lost I was in certain avenues.  

Fast forwarding, coming to have a job I love, looking forward to making it a career, and adding vital goals to start new beginnings, has really taken a toll on me on where I stand in life. Growing up I had envisioned a different life, don’t get me wrong I love where I am now. The quiet and making my own decisions has helped me see the truth in some situations I did not see before. I guess that’s part of growing up. 

One thing is for sure that we may think changes in the way the mind, or feelings, work. For a very long time, I have wondered if I encountered a different scene would the mental scenarios change? Would the scenes of reruns from Friends make it better, or would I need to seek outside assistance to search for a better channel? Would the 200 plus individual mental state change because she finds herself with a new number to check off? Would the victim simply forget it ever happened? Not really. In my opinion, I do not think so, maybe not without adding newer memories. The physical changes we make can help us change our mental state, but it will not do it by itself, nor will it all eventually go away. I have realized that if the physical changes, the mental, or emotional, it does not totally change right away. There is much more work to do. Having to dream of what I wanted, to come and find that what I have is what I really needed at some point in my life. Asking why I could not have been here before, what was I doing, or better yet thinking… what happened that I took a long pause in life. 

Sometimes the mind wanders, affecting the feelings at that moment that at some point, we realize we have been doing nothing but feeling vulnerable, alone, sad, or even happy. But because the mind wanders, sometimes it is hard to wander back…finding something mandatory to do aids those moments. For instance, taking an art class when you do not know how to draw or learn a new instrument, or open a channel when you are a shy person…making things happen takes time, takes our thoughts and feelings towards this new mandatory to-do list. It keeps us busy working on something for ourselves, something new that we can talk about, or keep it a secret to then have conversation starters. Never have I ever thought of going to open a new goal and being halfway there, but here I am, almost done again and ready for a new adventure. Just which one? Who will be around on this new path? How far do I have to go this time, and will I be so busy that the mental or emotional state be too occupied to want to be on their own? 

If we are lost, if we have been mentally lost…add something to that list. Not to just do it but to keep the mind busy. Give yourself accountability, schedule the time to do it, and if you can, take the time to relax, shed the tears you need but always wander back to do what you want to do. People will come and try to take it away, find yourself, find your mind and emotions, link it to something positive. Mental health workers are also there for professional guidance,

No matter how long it takes, if you are happy, busy with life, enjoying life, the possibilities will approach along the way. 

For now, I am busy. For later, I will be in the middle of the road looking for the next adventure. I hope to meet up with you somewhere along the way. 

-SweetBetty 💋

Still Breathing...

Hola Cuties!

It amazes me how I yearn to keep coming back to blog after a very long time. That last blog post hit me in the gut and I had to take a seat and breathe.

Is not easy. 

Losing someone dear to the heart’s pathways. 

I can still recall the jokes. He was always happy and wanted to show people what’s life was really about. Something I’m trying to do for myself. 

After a while you become numb. But when the thoughts and feelings start flowing, my god that’s the worse! It comes back stronger and more painful. Yet I tend to tumble up, that’s right. I tumble up to be able to review the length of my goals. It helps to view the path of how far I’ve come, to pivot the insanity of emotions.

Life is still changing and I’m taking it with what my madre has taught me, si es para ti, tu lo vas a tener. 

It is for me. 

Hugs,

Sweet Betty 💓