I'm having trouble getting back online to my blog but Thank God I'm here now. As many of you know INSTAGRAM has been the new thing. Pictures, pictures and more pictures. I'm actually on there too and meet wonderful people. I mainly post quotes of every day situations and mostly on my Faith in God. I also have some non-believers whom of course, we can not judge. I treat everyone equal. There has been a certain someone, who will remain nameless, that he unconsciously gave me the idea of writing my stuff to the public. I thought to myself, well yea BLOG IT!! So here I am. Thinking how can I link it or find an easy way to type everything one time. And well I think I prefer to keep ranting here while on iG (instagram) I'll cut to the chase.
... quietly enjoying some KLove Music ...
The other day I was thinking after long talks with my church friends and my family about a certain situation in my life. I won't go into details but I got to a low point (again) that it was hard for me to get up all by myself. So this time, in many many MANY years I opened up to Christian friends. I choosed them because coming from a community we all grew up, one being married and all of us have Faith in God. I know God brought us together for a reason. And sometimes the strong people (later will expalin) need strong friends whom can hold us up. I'm so very happy that they were there when I needed someone.
I fell down into a pit that was total darkness. A pit of unappreciated, unloved, not wanted, pushed away, walking dead as they say. I know we are suppose to protect our hearts, our emotions but sometimes we get tired of covering them. Of not caring. I'm too much caring. I'm that friend that is always there but yet never found one to be there for me. Until those friends. Ok let get back on track.... so I felt a roller coaster of emotions. I know it was noticeable because strangers would ask me if I was ok, That's when it hit me! I feel and look horrible, something has to change.
So I came to realize that whether we faithfully express feelings of care to others friends, their reaction or appreciation shouldn't be taken too harsh. I say that because we are only guilty of what we say and feel, not what other say. FINE!! I was getting mad after the roller coaster of emotions. I accepted the ridicously unexplained answer because I wasn't going to be stuck forever. not again.
THEN I was told that I shouldn't change because someone didn't know how to appreciate the loyalty. Or friendship in this case. Well duhhhhh I should have know. but of course, we humans need to hear it from someone else. I starting thinking that they are right, why would I change the type of person I am because some humans prefer to act ignorant towards others. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my friends. Even the unappreciated one. I will admit, I can't judge them because they did choosed me to stand by them without knowing if I will. And I see that as God working his miracle on them and myself...as I grow. So even after these feelings were getting less, I do appreciate God sending me all my friends. I do have Faith in God that he has something wonderful for me that will make me realize of all the steps I am taking now.
This may seem as a rant all over the place but, I'm tired. Its Friday and I really don't want to think negative. So I'll cut this short.
I'M FEELING MUCH BETTER AND I'M STAYING THE WAY I AM BECAUSE GOD HAS BETTER PLANS THAN THE ONES I HAVE FOR MYSELF.
Good Night
xoxoxo
Great Afternoon World,
Well its Saturday. I'm in bed, with my cat, enjoying some KLoveRadio , which always uplifts my spirits when ever I tune in. and happily here blogging away. Trying to be more positive than ever. I say that because last weekend I wasn't feeling too good and I really don't want to feel like that. But I been praying, having my alone time and most of all having the Faith I need to, in God. Because only He knows what's the purpose of all this. So today, I'm happily enjoying the little extras that life has for me. NYC your cold today but inside my heart is all cozy. :-)
My mind is all over the place now so I'll try and type in a way to organize what I am trying to project to you. My Thanksgiving went well. My family from LI came to my place and it was a very well spent day. I got up early, had my coffee of course. Made sure I called my silly friend before his family went to his house. Always good to hear his voice. But happier to know that he's home and calls can be made when ever. (he knows, he knows lol) I saw my little cousins, which aren't so little anymore. But thats what life is about growing up. Friday, no work woohoo...and those left overs were the best!! But today I'm just relaxing. After all the holiday crazy and the one coming up (Christmas) I need this alone time. Well not so alone, my kitty is with me.
This month has been sorta interesting. I actually, am still, realizing that I have forgiven a certain someone who hurt me in the past. Now I'm not talking about 5th grade things, adult stuff. But as I'm here, sitting down, I think... no what I actually mean to say is that I feel the Forgiveness. The forgiveness of whatever has happened in life at that time. We all know no one is perfect and within all the commotion we should accept those we love the way they are. But when that person is just too much then something should change. So when I decided to stop and walk away, with tears and pain, I left. I don't regret anything because at that time I knew that with love in my heart I was capable of loving someone with all their flaws AND capable of walking away for myself. But now, after many years I'm feeling that my heart, my life is putting the pieces back together. And no not back to what it was because you can't glue something back without the cracks. But feeling happier, free. Free from that dark memory. Making room for new things, like more positive thoughts. More faithfulness and quotes. Yes, if you knew me personally you would agree, I'm a quote freak, lol.
But what lead me here is a particular person. Whom by time he will realize he had more of an impact on me that what I actually realized. I mean, a human body can hold so much that when its time to start again...it does. It does slighlty different but it does. And if this particular person has been through the worst being where he was, then it shows me that if he can do it then I can also. Not exactly doing his same steps but moving on. Having to do better because there are people who wants you to be better. So now I feel like I'm rambling but I do hope you all know what I am trying to say.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that life has so many wonderful things that we need to stop and enjoy. Sounds to oridinary but it actually means alot. For instance, I have Instagram and I mostly post quotes. And wow, I been getting some nice feedback and I'm happy to know other people agree to what I post. While others are lost, I post something for them and they like or comment on it, shows me there are people out there paying attention to your words. And that is why I am ALWAYS careful with the words I say to others. You never know who may need the extra encouragement. I love my instagram friends. Some may be on the wrong wrong road but I do know they will find their way. Girls, we all find our way. Trust me. I may be older but that only shows you that I do understand and know there is a better road to jump into. *hugs to them all*
Ok, so Christmas is coming. Love the holiday cheers and movies. But most of all grateful that my Faith in God keeps growing. Everyday I have reason to why I should continue to be who I am. To why I keep having high hopes in my silly friend (he knows), in my kid, my mom and the growing relationship my sister and I are having. With all the positive why shouldn't my Faith keep growing. Everything happens for a reason and I should be looking at a better tomorrow by accepting today and its little extras. I mean, if we don't stop and accept , thank or learn from the little extra things in life then what will the journey conrtuct of. hmmm, well I think thats a totally entire blog.
Thank you so much for reading this far. Sorry for any typos or misunderstanding. Any questions just ask, And remember to follow my MY TWITTER account to get an everyday update. So be safe everyone.
xoxo
-SweetManhattnGirl-
P.S. If your surrounded by sadness, be the change. Get up and get Happy. So something silly. Even if your surrounded by sadness, negative or nonsense, Be the change. You don't have to jump because everyone else is, skip around and you'll be amazed of how many people will follow you.
