She is the reason!

How can someone who's your half size be so into your heart that sometimes you cry because your too overwhelmed. To be honest here, I had my beautiful daughter at 15 years old. When I came home I received a phone call from 2 wonderful friends. I remember it was Cynthia and Yesenia. They had called because it was my birthday, yes my 16th birthday. After they wished me the best, I told them I had just stepped in because I had given birth. I heard screams and that right there I felt so happy to have them a phone call away. I have them as friends in facebook and they are doing well, thank God!
After that happy call, I realized that I had a little body waiting for me in the hospital. she couldn't come home with me right away but I did go to her every single day, all day long. It was my birthday and for the very first time I didn't care if it was or if I needed to rest because I just pushes naturally a 7pound 2ounces baby. For me she was so petite, I was scared to even drop her but I got the hang of it.


My daughter came home a week later, nervous, happy and all comotions of feelings came in me. I went to school full time and straight home to play with my daughter. Sometimes in the weekends when she was asleep, I missed her but I was home with her. Is like I became obsess with her that I would check on her every second. If she went to sleep I made sure to do my homework right next to her. Any sudden move, i looked at her to she if she was ok. I didn't mind that I stayed home while my friends went out. i mean I did get to go to some parties but what I really wanted was to stay home. And the mayority of the time, I did stay home.


Before I got pregnant my life was revolved into a man who loved me very much. a man who taught me alot and show me the way life is outthere. I thank him very much because with his help also, my parents can rest assure that my intentions for our life are good. This man is my daughter's father. I am not with him now but he is around. But after my daughter came in this world, I see it as a blessing for God, my thoughts, my reasons, my life has been changed for the better. Of course like everyone else, we go through ups and doens but I love my life as it is. I am happy to say that my reason is her. I wake up because of her, I come home because of my little angel, I work for her, I am more social because with my daughter I have to be. I don't regret any part of my steps I have taken. Any negative things will just balance our world.
So I did finished highschool, got my original degree and went to college. Can you believe that my daughter's first day of kindergarden was my first day of class in college? She was nervous and I told her that it was my first day too. And I saw a relieve in her eyes. Knowing that she is not alone helped her alot and wasn't too nervous herself. I finished college and my daughter was a great student. No complaints, good grades and all. I am thankful for that. I remember when we use to play teacher and I would teach her the colors, numbers, ABC's and once in school, she was advance. LOVE IT!!


So now, at this instant, she has grown into a beautiful teenager. I am scared and confused sometimes. Because I have heard teens think parents are out there to get them. WOW! My daughter has a strong backbone to back up every little argument to be quite...quite true. I see this as a journey that we both look back and laugh with a phew! we made it. :-)


I am trying my best to let her go in certains ways but I still see her as a baby. I think we parents will see our children as babies even when they reach their adulthood. Let me just not say it too loud before my kid yells "I'm not a baby".


My life, my reason, other then God and my faith, is my daughter. I had her as a teen and seeing her this big has made me feel that we can make it. Because we are. I rarely think if she didn't exist what I would be doing. But when I do, I can't think or see myself anywhere. So when I peek to see her sleeping, I am at ease that she is here, next to me and without barely knowing that I have become a better human being because and for her. I am Christian mom, sister and daughter...I don't judge like I use to and I don't hold grudges. What ever has been done to me in the past has been forgiven but the lesson will not be forgotten. For her, that is my reason, I will keep growing.


I will keep growing in Faith, with God guiding us.
*kiss kiss*